When Words Fade

BEGINNINGSAND DISCOVERIES

Living with an adult sibling is not a situation that is considered the norm in our culture. However, since neither, my sister nor I are married or have other brothers or sisters and our parents are deceased, it made practical sense and financial sense to share a house. We managed to live separate lives, especially since my work took me on the road several days a week. We were basically housemates and getting along fine until I started noticing small behavioral changes. They were subtle occurrences but alarming to say the least.

My sister, Mary Kay was an avid reader. She was always surrounded by magazines and books. Her Christmas wish list always had a few book titles at the top. The last book I bought for her was fairly thick, but it was written by a regional author and she was happy to receive it.

I was happy when one January night, I saw her buried in the book that I had given her and lost in the content. Then a few weeks later, I noticed that she was still deeply focused in her book, but it appeared that she was still in the first half of the story. By mid-February, I again saw that she wasn’t halfway through the book yet. That was when I noticed other things. One evening, she asked me a question, and her speech slurred a bit. I jokingly asked her if she has a cocktail before dinner?? (We really don’t drink alcohol in the house). Then I started noticing more slurring and forgetfulness. Mary Kay had just turned sixty-nine and I thought this may be a common aging problem.

Mary Kay was retired from 30 plus years as a travel agent and took a very part timer job in a clothing store as a clerk. One day, she came home and told me that she was told not to operate the cash register anymore, because she as making too many mistakes. I was flabbergasted because she always was a detail orientated person. I started panicking with that horrible knowledge that something was happening. I was after all, only her brother…but I was her only brother. We had no one else…no parent, no children…just the two of us….”Oh shit!” was my battle cry. Now what in the world am I going to do?!

I started making lists of what I thought I needed to do, I contacted my sister’s primary care provider and tried to map out what was to be the major focus of my life from here on out. oh, I also prayed and prayed and prayed some more. More forgetting, the book fell by the wayside- she never finished the third chapter in over two months. A situation I never dreamed would ever happen crashed into my life with a deafening thud. I was single for a reason, and I chose to be independent. Now I was becoming a full-time caregiver for another adult…of the opposite sex…who was quickly withdrawing from a social life and just as quickly losing her ability to speak clearly. How in the world was I going to pull this off? The short answer is, I don’t know. Every day I find new challenges, every day I scratch my head and worry and every day I thank my God that he has blessed me with a sister who is gentle, kind and happens to depend on me for everything that I am totally unprepared to provide.

Please join me as I figure this out and as I explore options and reflect. Maybe we can help one another, maybe we can realize that we are not alone in this weird adventure.